Welcome to a (presumably) reoccurring* post, where I try new things.

*Presumably reoccuring because eating will be a necessity while I live here, and because I have the curiosity of a cat with no sense of self-preservation.

This weeks theme is WHY DOES THIS TASTE LIKE THAT? Junk food with odd or unnecessary themes!

For Science! Sakura Flavored Pepsi/mountain dew

Looks like: violently, florescently pink- so bright I thought it would glow when I turned the lights out. Font is surprisingly violent-looking for the petal covered black label

Smells like: adolescent floral perfume, the kind that comes in a gift set from an older family member who doesn’t know you well but you’re “growing into such a young lady”

tastes like: someone carbonated sugar water in the same room as potpourri

target market: hummingbirds who like fragging n00bz

FOR SCIENCE! Sake Flavored KitKat Bars

looks like: A valentine’s day special: innocuous white chocolate with floral packaging.

smells like: your clothes the morning after a college bender- slight tang of alcohol, sickly sweet.

tastes like: your clothes the morning after a college bender, but crunchy

target market: secret work alcoholics

FOR SCIENCE! Sakura flavored Macarons

looks like: too cute to eat (thanks to my friend Goth Annie Hall for modeling)

smells like: almond essence, vanilla, rose, hint of tart jam, your best memory of childhood but this time with puppies

tastes like: melting effervescent classiness

target market: anyone who appreciates traditional French desserts combined with Japanese appreciation of cuteness (note: this Venn diagram is  circle)

BONUS: typical school lunch.

looks like: nothing like that weird brick pizza with melted plasticy cheese (no bitterness here)

smells like: a well-balanced, nutritious meal

tastes like: deliciousness

target market: something that you might feed children, the future of your country

I eat lunch with the students every day. It allows them to practice English in a lower stress environment than the classroom, and gives me the opportunity to finally experience being popular in 6th grade. The food is always something I look forward to- everyone gets the same meal, served in classrooms, and the general rule is that you finish what you are given. I haven’t met a lot of picky eaters in these classes yet.

Join us for later episodes of FOR SCIENCE! where we eat natto, ramune flavored alcohol (yes, really) and basically everything edible and not stapled down!